You’re up nights thinking about divorce. You can’t sleep. You’re not doing well at work. You don’t know what to do. Can your relationship be saved? Divorce is such an ugly word, but there seems to be no avoiding it. You don’t want to hurt anybody, but you’re hurting with no relief in sight. Does it have to be ugly? Does it have to cost a fortune you don’t have when finances are already stressed? How does it work and what’s involved?
Thinking About Divorce
You’re not alone. These are anxieties suffered in every divorce. People just like you have faced and overcome these fears, and you can too. So where do you start?
Talk with Professionals
Fear is not a friend when you’re having to make important decisions. The antidote to fear is information. Good decisions start with good information, and professionals are the place to start. To begin with, talk to a counselor or lawyer about whether or not divorce is the answer for you. Whether to divorce is an extremely personal and difficult decision. It’s not one that can be made for you – you have to make it. You don’t have to make it alone; get a professional’s outside perspective. It’s also helpful to understand the process, how it will go, and what you can expect. This is all good information to have. It will alleviate a lot of anxiety and stress. unselors and lawyers specialize in good information.
Use the Internet Wisely
The internet is a very attractive starting place, but in divorce can be like drinking from a firehose. There is a lot of information with little organization. Trying to figure out what information is accurate and applicable to you can be overwhelming. There is also a lot of bad information, drama, and horror stories that aren’t helpful. Divorce can be very drama-driven. Drama drives fear, which is not your friend. When looking at the internet, be mindful that finding good information is not easy. It is easy to get pulled into drama, so be mindful and stay focused on what you need when you’re looking at the internet.
Talking with Friends and Family About Divorce
Friends and family can be a tremendous source of support. They can also be a source of anxiety and fear. Everyone has a war story, or knows someone that has a war story. Someone else’s war stories are not about you or your divorce. Knowing someone else went through a divorce can be a source of comfort. However, the drama of someone else’s divorce does not have to be your drama. Like the internet, friends and family can be an overwhelming source. It can be difficult to distinguish good information from toxic drama. Be mindful not to get distracted and overwhelmed by someone else’s drama trying to get information helpful to your situation.
Why is this Important?
A divorce is much easier and cheaper if it is handled properly. What does that mean? It means decisions are made from good information, strategy, and goals. Fear should not be a factor in the decision making process. It is reasonable and normal to experience fear and anxiety. But rather than giving these emotions a seat at the negotiating table, manage them with good information. You have control and the ability to make decisions. You just need help to realize it and handle it.